Can I tell you something and you not tell anyone?

First and foremost I would like to confess I've never wanted to be a Pk.  Simply because when our church would visit other churches I would see their pk's and they always looked bothered by something of flat out unhappy. Growing up I was the Pastors grandchild naive thinking the church family was my real family and for lack of women in my life no close aunts or female cousin. I attempted to confide in some of the women in my church about things that bothered me. They assured me that things would stay between us that they understood and they we're once young too. Then I would be told by my family members how things got back to my grandpa or mother. I was hurt it not only made me look different at church it almost made me put a wall up. So often times I would carry around a notebook and jot down poems and prayers and thoughts.